High School Musicarol: Act 2, Scene 4

SCENE 4: Martha Stewart’s Academy of Decorators

ZAC:
You know, Christmas Ghost of Graduation, I’m really starting to detect a pattern here. It seems like every time we tour a school, it looks awesome while we’re there, but then the products they prepare always seem to have bad effects on the people the school prepares them for.

VANESSA:
That’s so true, Zac. And so observant. You are so bright. Maybe that’s why I feel like I could use an extra dose of Christmas cheer.

GHOST OF GRADUATION:
Well [chuckle], you may be in luck! Our next stop is Martha Stewart’s Academy of Decorators.

VANESSA: [excitedly]
Oh! I’ve read all about Martha Stewart’s Academy. She has such great ideas for decorating any house. I’m so excited!

GHOST OF GRADUATION:
Good. Because here we are.

MARTHA STEWART: [overly cheerful]
Oh welcome friends. I couldn’t have helped but overhear your conversation. I’m so excited to show you around the Academy. I do have some good ideas that should bring holiday cheer to your hearts. Did you happen to see those adorable pastel-green stockings in the latest issue of Martha Stewart Living?

ZAC:
Oh yes. I made a few of those. They were very easy to make.

GHOST OF GRADUATION:
I’m sorry to be such a party pooper, but times a’ tickin’. Do you think we can have our tour?

MARTHA STEWART:
Of course, I’m always willing to accommodate guests. Follow me please.

VANESSA: [admiringly]
How thoughtful of you. You’re an amazing woman.

ZAC:
Yes, thank you. Everything looks so good. You’ve really decked the halls with all these wonderful Christmas decorations! It makes me feel so jolly!

[song: “Deck the Halls” by Bing Crosby]

GHOST OF GRADUATION:
Well, you know the drill. [poof]

ZAC:
Hey. This looks like a nice neighborhood. Everyone really got into the Christmas spirit this year. Everything looks great.

VANESSA:
Yeah, look at the lights on that one. They’re so pretty.

GHOST OF GIFT CONVEYANCES:
You’d thinks it looks nice don’t you’s. But let’s take a look inside some of these houses.

LADY 1:
Honey, did you see the Johnson’s lights across the street? How come they can have such nice lights and we can’t?

MAN 1:
You’re right honey. I’m going to go to the store right now and get some lights like theirs.

LADY 1:
Oh thank you Hon. I don’t want the neighbors to think we can’t afford to decorate our house as nicely as they can.

ZAC:
What? That’s crazy. Why would anyone feel that way?

GHOST OF GIFT CONVEYANCES:
It’s aint just thems neither. Takes a little looksie here too.

LADY 2:
Hey hon? We just got a call from the credit bureau. They said we’re behind on our payments. Is that true?

MAN 2:
Maybe just a little. It’s not really a big deal though. I’m hoping to land a big bonus this year so things should be fine.

LADY 2:
I thought we budgeted everything out? How did this happen?

MAN 2:
Yeah, well all the guys at work were talking about their Christmas trees and all the decorations their children got to put on the tree. That’s why I had to go get our new tree and more Christmas goodies. Why should we have any less than the guys at work? I do so much more than them anyway.

VANESSA:
Oh, the outside of the neighborhood looks so good. You would never know that the people inside are being so careless just for Christmas decorations. Can we please leave this place?

GHOST OF GIFT CONVEYANCES:
Sure thing. [poof]