High School Musicarol: Act 2, Scene 2

SCENE 2: E.L. FUDGE UNIVERSITY
ZAC:
I can’t believe that just happened.

GHOST OF GRADUATION:
What did you see?

VANESSA:
Oh, it was too horrible for words! But what happened to you? Where’d you go?

GHOST OF GRADUATION:
I’m the Christmas Ghost of Graduation. My Christmas powers only allow me to take you from school to school—they and end there.
Which Christmas Ghost did you see?

ZAC:
The Ghost of Christmas Gift Conveyances…Wait a minute; you mean to say that you didn’t know which ghost we would see?

GHOST OF GRADUATION:
I didn’t mean to say that, no. But the inference is appropriate.

ZAC:
Well, what does that mean?

GHOST OF GRADUATION:
It means that I didn’t mean to expressly say that I didn’t know which ghost you would see.

ZAC:
No, I mean what does it mean that we saw the Ghost of Christmas Gift Conveyances?

GHOST OF GRADUATION:
Well, Mr. Elfron [chuckles], that’s for you to figure out isn’t it?

VANESSA:
Oh, Zac. I know you’ll be able to figure it out. You’re so smart and capable.

ZAC:
Thanks. You’re the greatest, Vanessa. [song intro] You’re my best friend in the world.

[song: “you’re my best friend” by Queen]

GHOST OF CHRISTMAS GRADUATION:
Okay. You got me on that one. That was a pretty good number. Let’s get going though. We’re here a little behind schedule.

ZAC:
What kind of school is this—a giant tree?

ERNIE:
It’s not just a giant tree, it’s The Hollow Tree–also known as E.L. Fudge University.

VANESSA:
AH! You startled me sneaking up like that. Hey! Red hat. Green Jacket. White hair. Old-looking face. You must be KEEBLER the elf?

ERNIE:
No, no. My name is Ernie. There’s actually no elf named Keebler.

VANESSA:
Oh, sorry.

ERNIE:
That’s okay. It’s actually a very common misconception.

VANESSA:
Is this where you make those delicious chocolate fudge-filled cookies?

ZAC:
Oh yeah! I think this is the place! Those cookies are great.

ERNIE:
Yes. That’s correct. We do make those cookies here. But that’s not all. We make all kinds of sweet and delicious holiday treats and are always researching for more recipes.

VANESSA:
This is awesome–all this talk about food and standing in front of this giant tree. It kind of reminds me of a song.

[Song: “Rockin around” by Hannah Montana]

ERNIE:
Interesting…hmm. Let me show you around a little more.

[Jingle bells left to right]

GHOST OF CHRISTMAS GRADUATION:
Well, [crunching], mmm this is really good, [crunching] time to go. [crunching]
[poof]

GHOST OF GIFT CONVAYENCES:
Hey I see you’s back.

[sobbing begin]

ZAC: [curiously]
What’s going on here? Why is everyone crying?

VANESSA:
Look! That man is on the hospital bed. It looks like something is seriously wrong there.

GHOST OF GIFT CONVAYENCES:
He’s dyin’a heart diseases. His arteries they’s got too clogged on account’a his eatin’ too many cookies.

VANESSA:
Oh No. This is terrible. Don’t cry little girl. Things will be okay.

GHOST OF GIFT CONVAYANCES:
That lil’ girl, she can’t hears you. Just likes last time, can’t nobody hears you here. It’s bad though—all them cookies sure takes a toll on yous, you know.
And chances are that he wont be gettin’ no better. Heart disease is the number one killer in the US of A.

ZAC: [sniffling]
Please, I can’t take this anymore.

GHOST OF GIFT CONVEYANCES:
Okay boss. Lets get outta heres then. [poof]